The Music was in My Heartbeat
by sparklylulz
Summary: Or: The Nine Times Noah Puckerman Kissed Rachel Berry and the One Time She Kissed Him. Separated into ten pieces. Part 4/4 of Puckleberry Shuffle. Now completed.
1. you left this feeling here inside me

**A/N: This is my last piece in my Puckleberry shuffle.**

**Well, until I decide to add to it ;p**

**So, I decided to split this up,**

**because it'll be a bit longer that 100 words per song.**

**So enjoy.**

**--**

_**'the music was in my heartbeat'**_

–

**Rainy Monday- Shiny Toy Guns**

"_I don't mind_

_You're someone who ain't mine_

_But someone that I'll get_

_And you don't know how_

_Hard I've tried_

_To convince myself that I_

_Can easily forget"_

He honestly didn't care if Rachel Berry wasn't interested in him. He didn't care that she made goo-goo eyes at Finn, who had a damn pregnant girlfriend. Well, that was his fault, but still, he didn't care. He was too badass to care that the first girl he had ever kissed had a thing for someone other than him. It didn't matter. He gritted his teeth as he watched her and Schue sing, trying to forget the awkward chemistry in the room by thinking about the fact that he was wearing no underwear.

It didn't fucking work.

She was still fucking crazy, he reasoned with himself. Bat shit crazy to the extreme. He couldn't decide at what in point that didn't matter to him anymore, but he wished he could go back and change it to where she really didn't matter. He wouldn't be so damn angry at everything then. Well, maybe just Quinn.

Ugh, Quinn. Rachel didn't know about her competition's little secret, because, shit, who would tell if they got pregnant with Puck's kid? He didn't blame the blond headed prude for keeping it to herself. If Finn was dumb enough to believe it, then he kind of deserved to have a kid.

Practice had ended sometime during his tirade of angry thoughts and he kicked himself out of his ugly red chair and pushed his way out the door. Rachel was standing outside, of course. Her dark hair gently swirling in the late November wind.

"What're you waiting on, Berry?" He asked, as she jumped a little at the sound of his voice.

"My father is running a bit late to come and acquire me." How in the hell could he care about someone who spoke like a old ass lady?

"Oh, well, I'll take you. And don't fucking argue, you know you won't win." He flashed a grin at her, and after she scowled a little, she agreed and climbed into his truck cab. It was the same as always, cigarettes on the dash, books on the floorboard.

Before she could comment on his lack of hygiene or what the hell ever, he clicked on the radio. He hoped that would stop her talking, even though he kind of did want to hear her voice. Jesus Christ, he was becoming Finn.

They pulled up in front of her fathers' expensive home and she turned to him and opened her mouth as always.

"Thank you for this Noah. I've noticed that you've been partnered with Mercedes, and I think that the chemistry of your two voices is slightly awkward, but under strict control and discipline, it could work out very well. I hope you don't sing some degrading rap song. After your Neil Diamond performance a few weeks ago, it would be a shame to resort to a piece that doesn't even show case your vocal talent very well."

She was fucking talking again. All she fucking did was talk. Puck thought the sound would drive him bat shit crazy too. It must have achieved that goal, since the only way he figured he could shut her the hell up.

He leaned down and kissed her. She shut up, and she moved away from him quickly, running towards her house, not daring to look back.

He chuckled a little.

He had managed to shut up Rachel Berry.


	2. fighting fire with fire

**--**

_**'the music was in my heartbeat'**_

_**--**_

**Burning Down the House- The Used**

"_Hold tight, wait 'til the party's over_

_Hold tight, you're in for nasty weather_

_There has got to be a way_

_Burning down the house"_

She was all of eleven years old, sitting in her father's brand new Mercedes, staring out the window, and pouting to herself. She didn't want to go to stupid Noah Puckerman's twelfth birthday party. He was always mean to her at school, but her fathers and his mother had been friends for over five years.

"Come on, Pumpkin, it's just for two hours. Besides, I'm sure Noah will be happy to see you!" Her daddy tried to cheer her up.

She frowned even more. He would not be happy to see her. He'd rather set himself on fire. Or that's what he had told her when they'd been partnered on a reading assignment together last week. Rachel didn't think that was a very nice thing to say at all.

Her fathers kissed her goodbye, and she started dragging herself up to the doorbell, trying not to run wildly in the opposite direction. She kicked a rock while she waited on someone to open the wooden door.

"Finn! Dude, I'm so-" Noah cut himself off and looked down to the small girl standing on the doorstep, holding a dark blue present.

"Oh, it's just you." He stated irritably, and turned from the door and walked in.

"Nice to see you as well, Noah." She said, although she was sure he couldn't hear her. If he could hear her, he wouldn't care.

She sat his present on the dining room table, and walked past the living room, where all of Noah's friends sat, playing a game. She sighed at walked up to his sister's bedroom.

Anna Puckerman was all of six years old, and loved Rachel. She always made Rachel sing to her, or read her a story. That's usually where Rachel spent Noah's birthday parties. She really enjoyed spending time with Anna, it was almost like having a little sister. To think, Noah was always complaining about how much he didn't like Anna.

Rachel guessed it was probably another excuse for him to look cool or whatever juvenile word they used today. She turned into Anna's room and noticed that she wasn't there. Rachel frowned to herself, feeling even more depressed.

"She went with Grandma to get some ice cream. She was crying because she wasn't invited to my party." Rachel turned around to see Noah standing in the doorway, looking at his feet.

"Oh, okay then. I was just going to read her a story or something." Rachel said quietly, looking at her feet also.

"She really likes you, Berry. I don't know why." He said, stepping into the room.

"Yeah, well, I really like her too. She provides enjoyable company when I'm invited to one of your less than enjoyable parties." She said, honestly. Noah whinced a little.

"Okay, well, I'll see you later, I guess." He said and turned, quickly walking out of the room.

Rachel stayed in Anna's room for the rest of the night, reading her books and looking at all the pictures of a younger Noah, and sometimes even a younger Rachel. They had met in kindergarten, and their parents were thrilled.

A few hours later Rachel crawled back down the stairs, and everyone was gone, including Mrs. Puckerman. Noah sat alone on the counter, eating birthday cake and singing to himself.

"Where's your mom?" Rachel asked quietly. He spun around on his stool to see her. She didn't ask about his dad, because Noah rarely knew where he was.

"She had to work. Are your dads coming?" He asked, turning back to the cake.

"They said they'd be here at nine." She said, looking at the stove clock. It was eight forty-five.

Noah looked at the clock too, and looked a little sad, or maybe Rachel was imagining things again.

"I saved you a piece of cake, if you want it." He said softly, holding up the plate. She smiled and took the plate and ate the cake, while Noah watched her.

"Rachel?" He asked.

"Yeah, Noah?" She asked, throwing her plate away.

"I'm sorry you don't have fun at my parties." He said, not looking at her. She came back to sit on her stool, looking at the counter. She didn't say anything, because she really had nothing to say back to him.

"And, Rachel?" He said, a bit faster.

"Yes?" She asked looking up at him. He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers quickly, and pulled back.

She heard a horn beep twice, and she jumped off the stool and rushed out the door without looking back at him.

She smiled her entire ride home.

Noah Puckerman had kissed her. Again.


	3. my devotion to keep you from me

**A/N: As you have seen after the second song, there will be flashbacks.**

**Thank you for all adding to your favorites/alerts and reviewing :]**

**I got a little carried away with this one, so it's a bit longer.**

–

"_**the music was in my heartbeat"**_

–

**Semiotic Love-Blaqk Audio **

"_I will ask you this, _

_"Can you spare a kiss?"_

_Can you picture this coming from my lips?_

_I'll whisper from miles away._

_I will send you this and seal it with a kiss."_

In eighth grade, their school had some lame Sadie Hawkins dance, and Puck would rather gnaw off his own leg than go. He didn't know who the fuck Sadie was, but she was a dumbass. All the girls were giggling and shit, and trying to ask the guys they liked out. He thought it was pretty stupid, all in all.

After Tiffany Swanson had asked him, he'd just decided that he would fucking go with whoever the hell asked him next. The past five girls hadn't been that bad, so the next couldn't be either. All of his friends were going, and Finn seemed excited. He really like Hudson, but sometimes he was such a girl about shit.

That afternoon his mom was taking him to temple as she did every Wednesday afternoon, and he didn't mind so much, except he had to see that weird Rachel Berry chick. Rachel wasn't very well liked at his middle school, but that was simply because people thought she was crazy. Puck didn't bother talking to her either, and she didn't seem to mind that much.

When he got to the desired destination, his mother dropped him off, telling him she loved him and that she'd be back to get him that evening. He rolled his eyes and said, 'whatever,' because what thirteen year old guy tells their mom they _love them_? He grabbed his sister's hand and pulled her inside the warm building.

Rachel was standing in the kitchen, fixing a snack for some of the younger kids, including his sister. Rachel was really good with little kids, and Puck didn't know why she'd rather be on Broad Street, or whatever, over teaching or something.

She was leaning over to pick up the juice tray when he walked in and lifted it up for her.

"Hello, Noah." She said softly. She always fucking called him Noah, and that was irritating as hell.

"Sup, Berry?" He said, carrying the tray into the dining hall. The little kids surrounded him, waiting for their snack. He rolled his eyes, but deep down, Noah really loved kids too. Including his own stupid sister.

It was some while later and Rachel was putting up chairs and books from the afternoon, and Noah was waiting on his mom to come and get him. Rachel had been fidgety all afternoon, and kept avoiding him at every chance she could. Not that he minded that much, but it wasn't Rachel-like behavior.

"Noah?" She asked, as he stacked some chairs.

"Yeah?" He asked, not looking away from his task.

"I know that you probably don't want to, or have already had other offers-" Oh fuck. Was she really going there? "but, my fathers requested I ask you, and if I don't they'll be mad. Anyways, I was wondering if you'd like to escort me to the Sadie Hawkins dance this Friday?" She said, trying not to sound pathetic.

At some point during her ramblings, Mrs. Puckerman had come to collect her two children, and was standing in the doorway. Puck's dad hadn't been around lately, but he didn't ask his mom, because he knew she didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh, Noah, be a gentleman and say yes." Puck groaned and turned to look at his mom. She wouldn't let him say no to Rachel, because his mom fucking loved Rachel Berry. He had told himself he'd go with next girl who asked him, why the fuck did that have to be Berry?

"Fine. Yes, Berry, I'll go." He said, through gritted teeth. Rachel smiled, but didn't say anything. She simply strolled up to his mother and asked for a ride home, to which his mother had agreed, _of course_.

At seven o'clock that Friday night Puck found himself standing outside of Rachel Berry's door, waiting on her to open it. He was dreading tonight, and his friends would undoubtably be rude to Rachel, and she'd tell her dads, and they'd tell his mom, and he'd get grounded.

Mr. Berry opened the door, and graciously showed Puck in. He stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs, as Rachel's dads got their cameras ready. Shit, there would be photographic proof of this? Yeah, his social life was over.

He was still standing at the base of the stair case looking out of place when Rachel appeared at the top of the stairs. She was smiling at him nervously, but he was looking at what she was wearing. At thirteen Rachel Berry had boobs, and the white dress she was wearing showed them very well. Her dark curls were loose, and Puck didn't think this could be Rachel Berry.

"Hello, Noah." She said, same as always.

"Hey, Berry. You look... nice." He said stupidly, not knowing what else he could say.

"Thank you." She beamed at him.

After several minutes of the Berry parents taking like a million pictures, Puck and Rachel were finally to the school, and he was trying not to groan.

"Noah, if you ignore me tonight, I don't care. I fully understand that you have your image to maintain. And I won't say anything to your mom or my dads." She said softly while he bought their tickets. He felt really bad that she was okay with being ignored all night.

"Hell no, Berry. I'm badass enough for the both of us." He said, pulling her inside. She frowned a bit at his language, but smiled when they entered the dark gym.

"Hey Puck!" The duo turned to see Finn smiling. Finn didn't care that Rachel wasn't exactly popular, and stood from where he sat with Quinn to come and talk to the two.

"Hey, Rachel. You look nice." He smiled, and Rachel appreciated his words.

"You too, Finn." Puck felt kind of irritated that Finn was being nicer to his date than he was.

"Yeah, so we're gonna go dance now. See you around, man." He said hastily and pulled Rachel with him out on to the dance floor. Both were good dancers, after having to take lessons for some stupid wedding a year ago. Puck decided he did like dancing with Rachel, even she made him want to set himself on fire.

After the dance, where Puck had actually had fun, they were standing on her doorstep.

"Thank you for taking me tonight, Noah. Even if it was just because your mom asked you too. I had a very enjoyable time." She was talking like his grandma again, but he just shrugged.

"No problem, Berry." He said. She was looking at him, not really knowing what was going to happen. After a moment she leaned over to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head and kissed her mouth instead.

She blushed bright red and opened her door quickly, not even saying goodbye.

Puck was confused.

He'd kissed crazy Rachel Berry, and it was because he _wanted_ to.


	4. tomorrow's another day

**A/N: Again, thank you all so much!**

**For everything!**

–

"_**the music was in my heartbeat"**_

–

**See the Sun**

"_And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness _

_And I promise you you'll see the sun again _

_Come on take my hand _

_We're going for a walk, I know you can"_

Noah's father left right before their ninth grade year, and he was a mess. Rachel had noticed that his mother stopped calling to talk to her fathers, and that Noah hadn't been to Wednesday night temple in a over two weeks. When she asked her fathers they simply said it was to do with Mr. Puckerman, and she shouldn't be nosey with Noah.

She didn't know Mr. Puckerman that well, he was rarely home, and when he was, he usually was asleep on the couch, clutching a beer in his hand. He hadn't ever said a word to Rachel, nor had he ever gone to temple with the rest of his family.

Rachel baked a batch of her famous cookies and took them to the Puckerman's residence. Noah had just turned fourteen the week before, and Rachel had gone to his party as always. She didn't mind spending time with Mrs. Puckerman and Anna, she found them better company than Noah.

When she knocked, Noah answered the door. He looked terrible, even his ridiculous mohawk was disheveled. He didn't say anything to her, but motioned for her to come in his house. His eyes looked puffy, and Rachel knew he'd been crying.

"Where is your mother?" She asked cautiously, trying not to anger him.

"She went to work, I think. She hasn't said much." He shrugged, sitting down on his red couch, looking at the blank TV screen.

"I'm sorry about.. you know." She said lamely, trying to make him feel better.

He looked up to where she stood above him. He had met Rachel Berry almost ten years ago, and he had treated her pretty bad almost the entire time he'd known her. He had kissed her three times, and then treated her like shit. Yet, it was Rachel Berry that was there for him when his dead beat dad finally left.

"It was just a matter of time, I guess." He shrugged again, trying to numb the anger and hurt he felt.

"It's okay to be angry, Noah." She said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He didn't know what did it, if it was her voice, or her hand on his shoulder, but he snapped, all the hurt he had felt over the past few days pouring out of him onto an unsuspecting Rachel.

"It's not fair! How could he do this to my mom? To Anna? She really needs a dad! Or to me? Was it because I wasn't good enough? I mean look at you, you got to have _two_ fantastic dads, and all I got was one shitty one that never cared about his family! What did I do wrong?" He asked sadly, wiping away a few of the tears that had escaped his control.

Rachel pulled him into her shoulder. Even at fourteen he had been pretty big, but he fit effortlessly onto her small shoulder. She rubbed his back, trying not to cry herself. She wished that she could share her fathers with Noah, so he could be happy again.

It was a little while later when Noah finally lifted his head to look at Rachel. She was looking out the window, humming a song they had sung together in first grade. He reached up to touch her tan face, and her eyes flashed down to his.

"Thanks, Rachel." He said roughly. Her face had signs of a few tear trails also, and he felt kind of bad.

"Anytime, Noah." She smiled sadly at him. He looked up at her and gently placed two hands on her face and pulled her head down to him. He pressed his lips against hers, and she forgot to breathe.

"Does this mean you're going to get married?" They both sprung apart to see Anna standing at the entrance to the living room. Rachel blushed a deep crimson, as she always did when he kissed her and stood quickly.

She left again without a word, and he sighed.

She smiled a little on the way home, and wondered what would happen when high school started.

She didn't have to think about it long because a week later freshman year began. A week later Rachel was covered in a cherry slushy, compliments of Noah Puckerman.


	5. find yourself 'cause i can't find you

–

"_**the music was in my heartbeat"**_

–

**Who Knows-Avril Lavigne**

"_How do you always have an opinion_

_And how do you always find the best way to compromise_

_We don't need to have a reason_

_We don't need anything_

_We're just wasting time"_

After Puck's dad left he pretty much gave up on giving a shit about anything. Not even two weeks later he lost his virginity, and he tried to convince himself that it had nothing to do with Rachel Berry making goo-goo eyes at Finn Hudson.

He was on the football team, which was kind of a joke, but it still meant free alcohol and cheerleaders. He had been invited to a senior's party right before sophomore year began. He had spent the entire year upping his badass image. He'd slept with half the lower classes, and the entire team of Cheerios, with the exception of the perfect Quinn Fabray.

He'd also spent the entire year throwing slushies in Rachel Berry's perfect face. He knew it was pretty shitty of him, after everything that she'd done for him, but somehow he just kept doing it. She didn't ever cry, or say a word to him. He didn't really understand why, because she could have told his mom or her dads. But she didn't.

He enjoyed getting drunk almost as much as he enjoyed getting laid, and that was a lot. So he took the bottle that one of the upper classman offered him and took a swig, looking around for a hot chick to have sex with tonight.

Rachel would have been disgusted with him, he was sure. She would lecture him about STDs, and alcohol poisoning or some shit. He kind of missed that. She had become a big part of his life and then he'd just shut her out. But, fuck, he was the bad guy now wasn't he? She wanted to make moon eyes at Finn now. Dude couldn't even solve improper fractions.

He pushed Rachel from his thoughts by making out with Santana Lopez. Santana had always been easy, and that made Puck's life easier. She was good at what she did, and she didn't expect a relationship. She just bitched all the time about shit like credit scores. Like he gave a fuck.

He was pretty sure he was trashed around ten, and his mom would fucking kill him if he wasn't up to go to temple in the morning. He drug his ass off of Santana and tried to walk straight to his older truck parked outside somewhere.

The headlights were too fucking bright, but they were nothing compared to the voice that followed them.

"Noah Puckerman! Are you drunk?" He looked up to see Rachel fucking Berry standing over him. She was slightly terrified, and slightly pissed.

"What the hell does it look like to you, Berry?" He snapped, trying to squash the throbbing from his head.

"Well, you can't drive this, so I'll take you home." She said forcefully, trying to pull him with her.

"Hell no. I can drive." He slurred slightly, and stumbled until she caught him.

"Honestly, Noah, just get in." He didn't argue again. He didn't really think he'd like to die in a car crash from drunk driving. He climbed into Rachel's small, girly car knowing that she was going to talk the entire way home, and his head fucking _hurt_.

"This isn't you Noah." She began, but before she could continue he had passed the hell out.

He came to in Rachel's pink room, and on her soft bed.

"What the hell?" He asked, squinting his eyes. She was sitting at her desk, not really looking at anything. It was dark, so he knew it couldn't be morning yet.

"I called your mother and told her that you were having truck problems and crashed here. I also told her that I would be bringing you to temple in the morning. After dragging you in here, you managed to puke on my rug and pass out on my bed." She said matter-of-factly. She was pissed, and he knew that.

"Shit. I'm sorry, Berry." He said slowly, his head still pounding.

"It's fine, Noah. As it's midnight I would suggest getting more sleep." She said calmly, looking out her window.

"Where're you gonna sleep?" He asked. She shrugged once.

"Here you can stay in the bed, with me. Don't look at me like that, Berry, I'm not going to do shit." He said after she gave him a fucking menacing look.

"Fine, but simply because I don't want to sleep on my floor." She said, cautiously climbing in the bed, as far away from Noah as possible.

His head was still fuzzy as all hell from the liquor and he kind of felt like he was in a dream. Maybe he was. Rachel Berry _was _in bed with him.

"Hey, Rachel?" He said slowly, slurring slightly.

"Yes, Noah?" She asked warily.

"Thanks for taking care of me." He said and leaned over to he side of the bed and kissed her mouth gently once.

"You are so beautiful." He sighed, and then all he remembered was passing the fuck out again.

In the morning he would try and convince himself it was a dream. Those feelings weren't real.

He was not in love with Rachel Berry.


	6. you don't, don't matter

**A/N: I am so sad that we're already halfway finished :[**

**But, no stop me now :)**

**Thank you for everything, guys,**

**it made me tear up a little.**

**But, I cry at the Kay Jewelery commercials so...**

**On with the story!**

**Oh, and this piece takes place right after Preggers.**

–

"_**the music was in my heartbeat"**_

–

**Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying- Fall Out Boy**

**(Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows)**

"_We never knew that you would pick it apart, oh_

_I'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts_

_I know this hurts, it was meant to_

_Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one"_

Today was the day. Rachel Berry was finally turning sixteen years old. Soon she'd have a car, and a license and she'd be so close to NYU that she could taste it. She never really made a big deal out of any of her previous birthdays, but her fathers insisted that she have some sort of get together for this special occasion.

Rachel didn't have the heart to tell her fathers that she was a social outcast and that she had no friends to invite. Instead she told them that she'd rather just have a small outing to see a play for this birthday. That's when they had called Ms. Puckerman. Rachel groaned internally, Noah didn't want anything to do with her, that was for sure.

Ms. Puckerman was so excited that she said yes at once and agreed to take the now ten year old Anna along. She said she'd speak with Noah about going, but she didn't agree for him. Rachel felt relieved and hoped that he wouldn't come.

But, Rachel didn't know that the day before Noah had found out he was a father. That kind of threw his whole life out of balance. His mom asked if he'd like to go, and not really paying attention so he just nodded. Well, that had been kind of stupid.

Now it was Saturday and the entire Puckerman and Berry family were on their way to New York City to see Spring Awakening. Rachel, naturally, was rambling on the whole way while singing to Anna, and Noah just sat in silence. She was trying not to think about how nice he looked today, because _it shouldn't matter_.

When they arrived at the theatre her fathers swept her up to the front row, and Rachel didn't think she could ever remember being this happy. She tried to convince herself it was even above when Noah had called her beautiful a month ago. He sat next to her, and she tried to ignore the electricity that shot through her stomach when he grabbed her hand after Wendla died. She was crying, even though she always knew what was going to happen. Somehow, his hand on her small one made her feel somewhat better.

At the end of the play she stood to beat the crowd to the restroom. When she reached the lobby she felt someone behind her, and somehow she knew it was him. It was always him. She turned, and he looked lost.

"Noa-" But her thoughts were cut off by angry lips engulfing her own. She was dizzy, and he pulled back to look at her.

"_She doesn't matter._" He told himself forcefully, but before Rachel could ask who 'she' was, his lips were on hers once again. He was losing himself in her embrace and she didn't mind.

When he pulled away his scowl turned into a half smile. "Happy sixteenth, Berry. Sorry I didn't a card."

With that he pushed his way into the men's room leaving a very confused, sixteen year old Rachel Berry in his wake.

Her fathers came a split second later and she put on a bright smile and gushed about how much she loved the play, and how cute Jonathan Groff is, and thanked them for such a fabulous birthday.

That night when Rachel got home she didn't even try to fight the tears that spilled down her face, as she pushed the realization that the 'she' Noah had said didn't matter, must have been her.


	7. i wish i was you, not i

–

"_**the music was in my heartbeat"**_

–

**I Feel So- Box Car Racer**

"_Cause I feel so mad_

_I feel so angry_

_I feel so callused_

_So lost, confused, again_

_I feel so cheap_

_So used, unfaithful_

_Let's start over"_

Puck was pretty pissed off. After what had happened on the bleachers today he thought he'd rather punch something than go to a party a Hummel's for Mercedes' seventeenth birthday. He had promised Rachel that he would go, however, and that meant something to him. He knew it shouldn't, she had dumped his ass, but he didn't care. He was more angry at himself that he was at her. She was right, he was using her, just like she was using him. It was his own stupid fault that he didn't tell her how he really felt.

So there he was. Driving his way to the kid he use to throw in the dumpster's house. He gritted his teeth as he saw Finn standing outside with Rachel. Why did everyone always pick Finn? Dude couldn't even get his own fucking girlfriend to sleep with him.

He placed his truck in park and shut off the engine. He slid out of the leather seat quickly, walking past the perfect duo and into the brick home. He could see Santana in the corner with Brittany, and figured he'd probably get laid tonight, at least.

Rachel came in behind him, and awkwardly side stepped him on the way into the kitchen. She didn't say anything, which he was grateful for. If he had to listen to her apologize he was throwing a slushy in her face on Monday. Finn came up and slapped his shoulder and asked how things were. He didn't see Quinn, but he told himself that she shouldn't matter. She didn't want him either.

He angrily grabbed a soda from the Hummel's fridge. Kurt was talking to Mercedes about what they should do tonight, and Puck felt like retorting that he wanted to go the fuck home, but he didn't. When he walked back into the living room he saw Quinn, and she avoided his gaze, as always.

That really just made him angrier. He was just sitting on the floor when Kurt came prancing into the room, a glass bottle in his hand.

"We're playing spin the bottle! Each kiss must be thirty seconds long, and kisses on the cheek are allowed for same sex pairings." He said, looking a little bitter about the last part. He only wanted to kiss fucking Finn. He'd have to get in the damn line.

There were a few nervous giggles, and some groans before everyone was sitting in a circle with the bottle placed in the middle of the group. Puck rolled his eyes at how stupid these geeks were. He could kiss anyone he fucking wanted to.

The first to spin was Mercedes, who landed on Mike. Mike laughed pretty hard before reaching across the circle to kiss her. Mike landed on Brittany. Brittany made out with Santana, which was pretty hot. Santana kissed Quinn on the cheek, and Quinn took the bottle. The next duo was Kurt and Quinn. "Ugh, to think, this is my first kiss." Kurt stated irritatedly, leaning over to kiss the pregnant girl.

When Finn landed on Rachel the tension in the room almost killed all of them, that is if Puck didn't do it first. He growled a little at the idea of anyone else kissing his Rachel. Except, she wasn't his.

Rachel pulled away blushing, and spun to land on Tina. She giggled a little and kissed Tina's cheek. Tina got Matt, and that wasn't all too interesting. When Matt spun he landed on a very irritated Puck. "If those lips go anywhere other than my cheek I'm kicking your ass, Rutherford." He snapped. Matt kissed Puck's cheek somewhat gayly.

Puck took the stupid clear bottle and spun it a little harder than he should have. Around and around it went, and he contemplated throwing it out the fucking window. Then it stopped.

He looked up from the bottle to the tan girl that sat in front of it. Rachel was looking at him, trying to find an escape.

"I knew you couldn't resist me, Berry." He growled, and bent over to where she sat next to Artie. She looked scared as his lips came near hers.

"_It's not like it's our first time._" He whispered in her ear, before he pressed his lips to hers. She sighed against him, and he pulled her face closer. After a few more seconds, he pulled away, and she blushed, looking at the ground.

For the rest of the night he tried to ignore the feeling that no matter who he kissed or what he did, it would always come back to Rachel _fucking_ Berry.


	8. don't go breaking my heart

**A/N: I got carried away on this chapter,**

**but you'll see why.**

**We finally get to see the first kiss between Rachel and Noah.**

**This is a break from the angst of the last two chapters.**

**More fluff than anything.**

**:]**

–

"_**the music was in my heartbeat"**_

–

**Don't Go Breakin' My Heart- Elton John&Kiki Dee**

"_So don't misunderstand me_

_You put the light in my life_

_You put the sparks to the flame_

_I've got your heart in my sights"_

Rachel Berry sat in her comfortable living room, looking at her photo albums with her fathers, as they always did every year on her father, Leroy's, birthday. She landed on a picture that made her swallow hard before her fathers smiled at her.

"Honey, do you remember when this picture was taken?" Her father laughed, pointing at the page.

"Of course, daddy, how could I forget this moment in life?" She said softly, touching the page lightly.

It was a six year old Rachel grinning at the camera, one tooth missing from her smile, with a little grinning Noah Puckerman next to her. She had forgotten what he looked like with a head of hair, but she could tell it was Noah. He still smiled the same way, if not more rarely. It felt like it was yesterday that she stood in front of her parents.

It was first grade, and Rachel and Noah were both short six year olds. Rachel and Noah had met the year before when they had to sit together in kindergarten. Rachel had been dancing for nearly five years at that point. Noah hadn't really become friends with Rachel, but their parents were constantly throwing them together for play dates and such.

Naturally, when their teacher, Mrs. Clyde had announced that there would be a talent show for the elementary school, Rachel had jumped at the opportunity. Her teacher informed her that it was a partners only talent show. Rachel didn't have any friends, except for Noah Puckerman. But, he thought she was gross, and she knew he didn't want to sing with her.

When she told her fathers this they waved her apprehension away and called Noah's mother, who had delightedly agreed to get Noah to sing with Rachel. When Rachel asked him what song he wanted to sing he told her he didn't care. He wasn't very cooperative at all, until a week into the rehearsal when Rachel told him that he could do the choreography.

They practiced for weeks to get ready for the big talent show. There were over thirty groups entered into the contest. Most of them were upper grade level groups, but Rachel Berry didn't care because Rachel Berry didn't lose. Ever.

Finally the night of the performance came and she was wearing her favorite pink dress, and Noah wore a small tux that his mom made him wear to funerals and weddings. They walked out onstage, and Rachel didn't feel nervous at all, although Noah did.

Noah lifted the mic to his lips,

"_Don't go breakin' my heart._" He sang evenly,

"_I couldn't if I tried_." She sang back, as he took her hand and spun her around.

Rachel had picked Elton John because he was a musical genius that had revolutionized the piano rock genre, and because it was a really sweet love song. Having a crush on Noah, she felt this was an appropriate choice to sing to him.

"_And, oohoo, nobody knows it_," They sang together, Rachel twirling around Noah.

"_When I was down,_" He sang loudly.

"_I was your clown!_" She sang.

"_Right from the start_,"

"_I gave you my heart!_" She said, spinning into Noah.

As the song ended, all the parents and students burst into applause for the two little kids up on the stage who were grinning at each other.

It would turn out that Rachel Berry and Noah Puckerman made an unforgettable duo, enough to rival Elton John and Kiki Dee. Or that's what her fathers had told them after they stepped off stage, grinning from ear to ear.

That's when the photo was snapped, but there was more to the story than the one thousand words the photo captured.

It was time for the award ceremony and Rachel was freaking out, but Noah sat back, not daring to admit how much fun he had on stage with Rachel. She was a _girl_ after all.

Second place went to two kids that played the drums in third grade, and Noah couldn't feel his hand from where Rachel was squeezing it out of anticipation.

"And this year's first place award goes to Rachel Berry and Noah Puckerman for their wonderful rendition of 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart.'" The principal was saying, but Noah was already being drug onstage by an excited Rachel Berry to claim the trophy that was bigger than she was.

Noah lifted it out of her hands and they walked back off the stage into the hallway to wait on her fathers and his mother.

"Thank you for singing with me Noah. You have a lovely vocal range." Rachel had said, and Noah had rolled his eyes because he didn't know what a vocal range was at six years old.

"You're welcome, Rach." He said softly. He sat the trophy on the ground, and she looked to him.

Before she could move he swiftly leaned over to give her a peck on the lips. She looked at him with wide eyes, right before their parents came out to congratulate them.

Rachel gently touched the picture that was taken a decade ago. She was six years old the first time Noah Puckerman had kissed her. Later that night when she was alone with the photo she settled on one thing with herself.

Since that moment ten years ago she had been Noah Puckerman's, and she reasoned with herself that she probably always would be.


	9. the only thing that made you feel alive

**A/N: Only one more after this :[**

**Maybe I'll start another story..**

**Hmm, anyways.**

**This takes place right after 'Sectionals'**

–

"_**the music was in my heartbeat"**_

–

**Stupid Boy- Keith Urban**

"_Nobody's ever gonna love me like she loved me_

_And she loved me, she loved me_

_God please, just let her know_

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry_

_Baby, yeah, I'm down on my knees_

_She's never coming back to me"_

Sectionals was all kinds of suck for Puck. Well the whole week leading up to it was pretty shitty in his opinion. He wasn't mad at Rachel, he just wished she didn't have that hurt in her eyes every time she looked at him. He'd told Quinn he wanted to be with her, not because he loved her (his heart was far too gone for that), but because it was the right thing to do. Naturally, Quinn Fabray didn't need a Lima loser like him helping her out, so he left her alone.

What sucked worse was that Finn wouldn't even look at him. He looked like a damn wounded puppy. Puck didn't really think it was his place to talk to him. He was the villain now. He had made it so easy for Finn to walk in and steal the girl of his dreams.

The girl he'd been in love with since she had drug him on stage to sing a lame Elton John song. The girl he had loved since she sat on his couch with him as he sobbed into his shoulder after losing his father. The girl that was always there for him. Now she wouldn't look at him either.

They were on the bus, without Finn, and he was seated alone in the back. No one wanted anything to do with him. They thought he was some asshole that took advantage of Quinn and threatened her if she told anyone. They didn't fucking know him. Of all people he wished Rachel knew him well enough to know he wasn't that guy. Not anymore.

When Finn walked into that stupid white room and Rachel's eyes had lit up like the messiah had fucking arrived Puck just snapped. He offered to be friends, but of course the golden boy/wounded puppy didn't go for that shit at all. Always the fucking villain.

He walked of the room, and grabbed his uniform hastily. By the time he was dressed and out of the bathroom he could see a very small Rachel Berry crying in front of the curtain.

"Hey, Berry, you okay?" He asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

As always, she jumped and turned to look at him, that hurt still in her eyes. She didn't say anything, but she wiped her eyes.

"Berr- Rachel, just pretend it's first grade again. Be fearless, like you were then." He said softly, and rubbed her back before turning to walk to the others.

The music started and they were all peeping through the curtains, (which was easier for Puck, because he was the first in line), she was breath taking. All her fucking turns and smiles. She was singing the best he had ever fucking heard, and he didn't think that was possible.

"_I'll march my band out..._" Brittany pushed him gently and he pulled the curtain open, walking evenly.

Then something happened that gave him hope for the first fucking time in a month. Rachel Berry smiled at _him_, and not Finn. She pointed to Finn, and her eyes flashed to his and she smiled at him. He grinned right back like some kind of idiot.

He took his place on stage, and he didn't let it bother him that Finn was singing to his girl. Or that she was smiling. She had smiled at him first. She spun in front of him, and she smelled just like strawberries. Like always. She offered him a smile as she returned to Finn's arms.

The number ended and she was in between Puck and Finn, just like always. His hand was dangerously close to hers, and he almost reached out and fucking took it, but he didn't think it was the right moment.

They were sitting in the audience waiting on their award. Rachel was sitting next to Brittany, and Puck. It was just like first grade again. Her hand was in his, and she was squeezing it, harder than she had at six. He smiled to himself and squeezed back gently.

Then it was all over, and they had won. Rachel Berry was a star, just as she had always wanted. She took the trophy with Finn, and Puck just kind of smiled at her. It was the cutest fucking thing he had ever seen. The same look on her face she had carried over a decade ago.

The bus ride home was full of nervous laughter and singing, and it didn't even bother him. He looked to where Rachel sat, her head on the window, sound asleep. He stood and walked to her seat before sliding in next to her.

She moved around for a moment before resting on his shoulder. He froze, not really wanting to wake her.

"You were amazing today, Berry, it was just like first grade. Except you're prettier now, well you have boobs. Shit, this isn't coming out right." He mumbled irritatedly. "Anyways, I wanted to tell you that I was sorry. About the Quinn stuff. She wouldn't let me tell anyone. I wasn't ashamed, I was actually really excited to be a dad. She doesn't want anything to do with me now, just like the rest of them. And I don't care. I just wish you wanted something to do with me. I fucking miss you, Rachel." He sighed looking down at the sleeping body that lay against him.

"I just wish I could show you how much you matter to me." He said gently, before bending his neck down to kiss her soft lips.

When they all got off the bus and Rachel was shaken awake by Artie she asked what had happened.

"I dunno," Artie shrugged, "Puck sat with you for a while. He was talking to you or something." He said before being wheeled away by his dad.

Rachel subconsciously reached up to touch her lips, she could have sworn he had kissed them.

Puck watched this display sadly, turning his back to climb into his truck. He realized with a sudden grief that broke his heart, that kiss would probably be the last time he would ever kiss Rachel Berry.


	10. the best thing we've ever seen

**A/N: We have reached the end of our journey, dear readers.**

**I hope this ending is all you wanted it to be and more.**

**I think this was a little long,**

**and I'm sorry if you feel I drug it out.**

**I just couldn't resist a little extra fluff.**

**The very last paragraph gave me trouble,**

**I don't know if I like it or not.**

**Oh, well.**

**I'd just like to thank all of you.**

**I am very grateful for each and everyone of you.**

**Enjoy this last chapter :]**

–

"_**the music was in my heartbeat"**_

–

**Must Have Done Something Right- Relient k**

"_If anyone can make me a better person you could_

_All I gotta say is I must've done something good_

_I came along one day and you rearranged my life_

_All I gotta say is I must've done something right_

_Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe_

_Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me_

_And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way"_

The weekend had passed by in a haze of confusion and anger for Rachel. She was quite honestly sick of Noah Puckerman and this game they seemed to be constantly playing. Finn was a free man, just what she had always wanted. So, why didn't it matter? Why didn't she care?

She sighed at her reflection in the bathroom mirror on Monday. When Kurt and Mercedes had come to her with the idea of arranging a special song for Mr. Schuester she had taken it to be an olive branch. It meant more to her than the two drama queens could ever know. No one blamed her anymore, no one was angry. Sectionals had made everything good for a while. Just as Finn had hoped.

She pushed the red door open so she could walk into the rehearsal room, and her eyes sought Noah. He was always the first thing she looked for at glee. He was usually in the back, brooding or something of that nature. Today he was standing with Finn, and they were smiling. Rachel smiled a little, as she helped assemble the group.

After Mr. Schue's pep talk, it was Noah that spoke. Every one was taken aback but smiled, when he didn't finish Rachel helped him out. Just like always; because that was what Rachel did. She was there for him no matter what. He meant more to her than she could even comprehend herself, and that's what kept her going.

She began singing, and the group started the hastily rehearsed routine. She watched the boys put on their cowboy hats and dance, poor Finn still had trouble with the dancing. Noah didn't, and his eyes were shinning, just as they had at Sectionals. She walked through Finn and Mike, and stood with her back against Noah's.

She couldn't ignore the electricity that shot through her stomach as he jumped in step with her, his eyes never leaving her. Suddenly it didn't matter anymore. It didn't matter that she was scared, it didn't matter that she didn't know how he felt. She knew how she felt. She was in love with him. She always had been, since he spun her into him when they were six years old in front of one hundred people.

The song ended and they were out of breath, and smiling at each other and a very distant Mr. Schue.

"You..you didn't like it?" Rachel asked, her smile fading. All the other kids looked to their teacher for some kind of sign. Then he laughed.

"I loved it, guys. You are all amazing. But, I've just realized something." And with that enigmatic statement the ran out the door, and left all the glee members looking confused.

When all the other members had cleared out of the room, all looking forward to going home, Rachel walked out into the hallway. She knew where he'd be. She let her feet lead her to the auditorium, and opened the heavy door. He was just sitting on the stage, looking towards her. He watched her walk towards him, calmly.

"Not gone to find Finn, Berry?" He asked, looking back down at his hands.

Rachel smiled softly at him, and continued to walk towards him, not saying a word. He looked back at her after her lack of response.

"I would've thought you'd have jumped on that by now. That's who you've had your sights on all year. Now that you know Quinn's not having his baby, you can have him. I can be the villain, now, Berry." He said angrily. He wasn't looking at her.

She sat on the stage next to him and turned to him, a fierce look on her face.

"I don't believe you are a villain, Noah." She said firmly, but he didn't look at her, he just glared at the red carpeted floor.

She watched him, and it was just like the day she went to see him after his father left. He was trying to hide his hurt under his anger. He was shutting himself off so that he wouldn't have to feel anything anymore, and that broke her heart. He hadn't always been that way. Once a upon a time he was everything, and she wanted him to be everything again.

"Well, shit, I am. I knocked up my best fucking friend's girlfriend. Then, somehow, even though I tried my best to be there for her, she doesn't want shit to do with me. I'm a fucking Lima loser." He said vehemently, glancing up at Rachel's sad face.

"Just leave, Berry! Go find Finn and live happily-fucking-ever-after." He growled, standing up suddenly. This did not stop Rachel Berry.

"Noah," She began to stand when he turned to her, his eyes flashing.

"I have treated you like shit since the moment I met you! I kissed you and then treated you like dirt! You were always there for me, and I was never ever there for you. _I'm not a good guy, Berry, you of all people should know that_. And I don't want-" But Rachel stood defiant in his face and cut him off.

"That's true, Noah. You never once treated me the way I treated you. You weren't nice, and you made excuses. And, I do know you. I know the reason that every time you kissed me was because you wanted to, and I know the reason you treated me poorly afterwards was because you didn't want anyone knowing how vulnerable you were! I know all these things because I care about you, Noah!" She said angrily.

"Well, you shouldn't. You're going to be famous, and make yourself something. I'm going to be stuck here! Doesn't that matter to you?" He asked, glaring down at her.

"No! Not anymore! Not since that day in first grade when you took my hand and said that you'd be my partner in that stupid talent show! Not since your father left and you cried into my shoulder! Not after my sixteenth birthday where you kissed me after you told me I didn't matter. And not af-" But he suddenly looked confused.

"I never told you that you don't matter." He said, eyebrows knitted together, studying her face.

"You said '_she doesn't matter_', and then kissed me. I naturally assumed..." But the sentence died in her throat. She was all wrong.

A memory floated into Rachel's brain suddenly, and she sucked in a gasp.

"_I just wish I could show you how much you matter to me._" It was a voice she knew. A voice she loved.

"It was you... after Sectionals..." She trailed off looking at a very confused Noah Puckerman.

"What the hell are you talking about, Berry? Just go, I'm a wasted effort." He said, turning away, looking at the door.

"No! Not after everything I've gone through for you! I won't let you walk away, not now, not ever. Since the day you walked into my life I have been confused. Everything I ever did came right back to you. It was always you! And now I finally know why! I know why Broadway means nothing, why high school means nothing without you!" She said, fighting her tears as she turned him to face her.

"It's all because I love you." She said softly before placing both hands on his face and pulling him down to reach her lips.

For the first time, Rachel Berry's lips sought out Noah Puckerman's in a plea for acceptance. A challenge for hope. His lips didn't disappoint as he pulled her closer to him. A smile painted on his lips as she leaned into him. She was his, she wanted _him_. Not Finn.

The parted, and he was breathless. She looked up at him, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"Even though you've always been fucking crazy, and you never left me the hell alone even when I was shitty to you, and that I know you would give up anything for me, even though I would never let you, I fucking love you too." He said, holding her face in his hands.

She laughed rubbing his mohawk, as he smiled at her. It was his real smile, the one he only used when he won football, and last week at Sectionals. Now it was hers; her very own smile.

"Hey, Noah?" She said, and he glanced at her.

"Yeah, Rach?" He answered.

"You never once cared for my opinion, but would you kiss me again?" She asked, grinning at him.

"Hell yeah!" He smiled, pulling her back against him.

Sometime later they were walking out of the auditorium when they past the hall to the glee room. At the very end of the hall they could see Mr. Schue, who was totally macking on Ms. Pillsbury.

"Well I'll be damned." Noah laughed, and Rachel slapped his arm and pulled him along.

He pulled her close as they stood in front of her small car.

"I love you." He whispered, twirling a lock of her hair on his finger.

"And I love you." She said back, smiling at him. He laughed suddenly and she raised a questioning brow.

"You kissed me this time." He grinned down at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, well, having the man romantically steal the end of the story is so cliched." She said, as he wrapped his arms loosely around her.

"Is that so?" He asked.

"Oh yes. So I guess when we tell our grandchildren our story we'll have to call it, 'The Nine Times Noah Puckerman Kissed Rachel Berry." She laughed.

"Oh, no, you have to get some credit. We'll call it, 'The Nine Times Noah Puckerman Kissed Rachel Berry and the One Time She Got Her Freak On with Him.'" He smirked as she hit him playfully.

"And you said grand kids, Berry." He said softly.

"Shut up." She blushed, looking at the ground.

In that one moment both decided they had never been happier. That everything had fallen into place after all, and this time Noah decided, he wasn't going to fuck anything up. He kissed her once again, and this time she didn't walk away.

* * *

Little did they know that Jacob Ben-Israel stood, camera phone ready, to break some of the biggest gossip to hit McKinley high since the Quinn Fabray story was leaked.

When the photo hit the blogsphere tomorrow, Rachel would print it out and stick it in her photo album, right next to the picture from first grade.


End file.
